Olivia Clunie, junior

“When I was in third grade my boyfriend of three days broke up with me because I told him I didn’t like ham and he said we didn’t have enough in common.”

Mr. Marr, staff

“In high school I went out with this girl for a few months. I’d been kind of distant and she said she felt like I didn’t care anymore. I told her she was absolutely right. She looked at me, completely taken back and asked her if I was breaking up with her. I said I wasn’t really planning on it, but now I am.”

Ms. Murray, staff

“My junior year of high school my then boyfriend broke up with me on Valentine’s Day by leaving an EXTREMELY [illiterately] written note in my locker.”

Mr. Liden, staff   

“I broke up with my girlfriend at a baseball game. I left during the fourth inning, went out for a drink, and never came back.”

Hayley Parnell, junior

“Well, during our first kiss, he licked my teeth, so that was dealbreaker. About two weeks later, he told me he loved me. I didn’t feel the same way so I just replied with “I know” and he thought I was quoting Star Wars. That was NOT what I was doing. I broke up with him shortly after via text.”

Anonymous, sophomore

“I made too many Minion jokes and my boyfriend dumped me on the spot.”

Anonymous, senior

“My boyfriend broke up with me on my sixteenth birthday. When my family and I went out for my birthday dinner, he was at that restaurant on a date with another girl.”

Emma Malwitz, junior

“I wasn’t really dating this guy, but we had been talking for a long time. I just became too busy to keep up this relationship we had. The only way I could get in contact with him was over text. I didn’t know what to say, so I just handed my phone to my friend and told her to say the things I would say.”

Josey Lynn, sophomore

“I dated a boy for a few weeks and one day he texted me saying he talked to God about us and he said we weren’t a good match.”

Kodey Williams, junior

“I got broken up with on my birthday, and two weeks later he texted me and said, “ OMG I’m so sorry I didn’t know it was your birthday. We’re still broken up but happy late birthday!”