Channel “Fun”

Since the dawning of middle school, we have been forced to watch the vile news station known as Channel One. Boring, cheesy, and always two weeks late with its news, Channel One has proven over the years that it is nothing more than a waste of 12 minutes.

Students arrive at school and have to report to first period only to have to sit in front of a screen that often plays poorly written news stories that are generally irrelevant and biased causing them to be completely ignored. Look around your classroom the next time the bell rings and you’ll see what I mean. Many people will be doing homework, napping, messing around on their phones, doodling, or just talking. The fact of the matter is that we got sick of Channel One on day one.

We have already figured out their shenanigans. They will play the same story year after year. Yeah, elephant poaching in Africa should be stopped, but we were aware of this 3 years ago when they reported that EXACT same story. Then they played it the year after that, and then the year after that, and then we saw it for the fourth time this year.

It would be more productive to move school back thirteen minutes than to have kids come here and fiddle around at their desks.

Some teachers have noticed that Channel One is hardly worth the time, and have taken matters into their own hands by showing CNN Student News in the mornings instead.

“I like CNN better than Channel One because it’s a lot less biased, it doesn’t have Channel One’s commercials, and Carl Azuz’s puns are absolutely hilarious,” said the publications adviser Brad Perry. (Hint: He kind of knows a lot about news.)

“I incorporate both Channel One and CNN into my classes. I think Channel one devotes too much time to it’s sponsors. I prefer CNN because it is only seven or eight minutes long,” said social studies teacher Vince Cerbone.

So next time you find yourself stuck in front of Azia Celestino hearing the same old news, go ahead and take yourself a little before-school mental nap…you won’t miss much.